


any degree of separation (day 30)

by FPwoper



Series: 31 days of... ships [26]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Benny is great at soothing Dean, Childhood Trauma, Dean is probably depressed, John Winchester’s A+ parenting, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-01
Updated: 2019-11-01
Packaged: 2021-01-15 23:36:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21261482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FPwoper/pseuds/FPwoper
Summary: Dean never thought that his father’s death would solve anything, but it had lifted some of the burdens placed on him. So when he returned to Kansas, ten years after John Winchester had died, he didn’t really expect to find anything.Prompts:Suptober: KansasKinktober: Degradation





	any degree of separation (day 30)

**Author's Note:**

> Last two! So the other one will go up later tonight

Dean never thought that his father’s death would solve anything, but it had lifted some of the burdens placed on him. So when he returned to Kansas, ten years after John Winchester had died, he didn’t really expect to find anything.

There is a new diner in town, Dean notices, and he mentally adds it to the list of places he should probably visit. It’s called _Mary’s diner_ which even adds to that feeling. He should go visit his parents’ grave first, though, and then he can always go back for some food.

Dean loved his mom dearly and he was shocked and hurt when she died, but cancer never really cares about whether or not you have people depending on you at home, and so she passed away. Whenever Dean visits her grave, he just sits quietly for a little while before telling his mom all about what happened in his life in the past few years. He used to visit quite often – his mom’s grave was his safe place, even though he didn’t want to admit it – but when John finally died, Dean was free to leave, and he did. He didn’t even come back to celebrate any of the anniversaries of either of his parents’ deaths.

He’s built his new life in Louisiana, and although he likes it there, he would love to move back to Kansas now that he’s older and wiser and not followed by his father’s voice anymore. _You’re worthless, can’t even get a job, always been living off your mother’s money, don’t care about you, never cared about you, not even good enough to take care of Sammy…_ the degradation had always been there.

Now that he’s silently watching their graves, it all comes back. The good, the bad, and the ugly parts of his childhood align really nicely and they hit him like the blunt force of a hammer coming down on a nail. It hurts. And Dean should have known better. Benny specifically asked whether he should come or not, anticipating that Dean might need a shoulder to cry on, but Dean just ignored him and said he wanted to go alone.

Now, Dean is left fumbling for his phone, hoping to God that he’s pressed the correct name and number and that he’s not just dialling someone else while bawling his fucking eyes out. Dean settles on the wet leaves in front of his mother’s grave, deliberately looking away from his father’s grave. He’s waiting for Benny to pick up his phone and talk to him.

“Hey chèr,” Benny drawls. “Missing me already?”

“Hi,” Dean says, swallowing to keep his voice even. “And yes, missing you already. I also… wish you were here.”

Benny knows, though. Benny always knows. “Are you okay?” he asks, suddenly cautious with worry clear in his voice.

“No.”

“Talk to me?”

“I suddenly remembered what my dad used to say.” Dean doesn’t want to elaborate. Benny knows about it, knows about _all of it_.

“Oh Dean. Do you want to leave the cemetery?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.” Benny appears to take a deep breath. “Can you get up?” He waits until Dean croaks that he’s up, and then continues. “Get to the car and get behind the wheel, and then drive over to the nearest restaurant, and I want you to go sit down and have a slice of pie and a cup of coffee, and then you’re going to call me again, okay?”

Dean nods, realises that Benny can’t see him, and says, “Yes sir. I’ll do that. I saw a diner on my way to the cemetery and I think it’s got some good pie. I’ll call you in a sec.”

“Sounds good, chèr.”

“Bye Benny.” Dean disconnects the call. It’s remarkable how much better he’s feeling already – Benny really is one of the best people around, and he doesn’t like letting Benny down, but he made it clear that his health was not something they could compromise on. So, whenever he’s feeling overwhelmed or hears his father’s voice again, they simply talk. And it works. They are happy, and they’ll work their way through this, too.


End file.
